Under a Blue Moon
by Snivellus Tobias Snape
Summary: Tonks joins the Order with some prejudices against werewolves but begins to fall in love with Remus. Meanwhile, Remus has more in common with a female werewolf who has just joined the Order.


Tonks watched the second hand tick by on the clock. It was almost nine o'clock. Charlie Weasley had left earlier that evening and meetings just weren't the same without him. He was just an interesting person to watch, and the time passed quickly when she watched him pretend to be interested in the speakers. She glanced at the chart on the wall that showed where each Order member was at any given moment. The chart with her name read "in a meeting" and she added under her breath, "And bored out of my mind." Flashing yellow letters caught her attention. A new name had appeared on the chart: Remus Lupin. Below the name it read, "At the door of Grimmauld Place."

The doorbell rang.

Snape, scowling slightly, stood and brushed past Tonks. He muttered a spell and the doors banged open. He strode into the hall. A strange scent of dungbombs had filled the air and Tonks swore she heard scuffling noises, like footsteps, running upstairs. The others in the meeting room stretched and looked toward the door as loud voices echoed in the hall. A moment later, a thin man with gray streaked hair appeared around the corner, scowling.

"She fired me!"

Tonks sat up straighter. The meeting had just gotten much more interesting. Who was this and why was he barging into the meeting like that?

Dumbledore's eyebrows shot up. "Remus!" He scanned the room quickly. "Would you like to speak in private?"

"No," the man said, shrugging. "We're all Order members, I…" Then his eyes settled on Tonks. "No, I don't believe I've met you."

"Nymphadora Tonks," she said cheerfully.

"Remus Lupin," he said, crossing the room to shake her hand. Behind him, Snape scowled.

"What's this about, Remus?" Dumbledore asked, closing the door. He muttered a spell and the door magically sealed itself again. "You were fired from the Department of Lycanthropy?"

Tonks shuddered, thinking about the dark, gloomy halls of the Department of Lycanthropy. She'd only gone once, and that was to try and identify the werewolf who'd killed her brother ten years ago.

"They're working with the Ministry to pass harsher safety measures to keep werewolves from normal wizards," Remus said.

"Remus," Arthur spoke up, straightening his glasses. "You have to understand that most werewolves aren't wizards, so they follow You-Know-Who because they feel wizards have denied them privileges. The Ministry only wants to protect wizards from being attacked--"

"Then it would be a much wiser move to pass safety measures against Death Eaters, who are a greater threat."

"Agreed," said Arthur. A few others murmured. Tonks couldn't take her eyes off the newcomer.

"I stated my reasons for opposing the idea," Remus continued, "and the Head of the Department strongly suggested that if I can't understand the greater protection this law would bring to werewolves then maybe I should leave. So I left."

"Have a seat, Remus," Dumbledore said kindly. Remus slid into the seat next to Tonks, his breath coming out in angry puffs.

"It would have happened soon enough," Dumbledore said. "I knew that you don't agree with the Department's philosophy, and I thank you for attempting to mend the divide between werewolves and wizards. Did you finish the werewolf registry?"

"I'm nearly finished," Remus said.  
Dumbledore clapped his hands. "Wonderful. I'm pleased with you, Remus. I knew there was a reason you're one of my favorite retired professors."

Tonks studied him as he made his way around the room shaking hands and greeting the other members. Although his brown hair was streaked with gray, he looked much too young to be retired. Maybe he was one of those professors of research who worked fifteen years until they died of boredom or retired. That explained the pale complexion.

"Where were you a professor?" Tonks asked politely as though she was addressing someone on his deathbed.

"Hogwarts," Remus said in a strong, slightly hoarse voice. "I taught Defense Against the Dark Arts for a year. I can't seem to keep myself from getting sacked."

Bill Weasley laughed appreciatively and Tonks noticed Hestia hiding a grin. Tonks' image of Remus changed immediately. He wasn't any older than thirty-five. He would almost be cute, too, if he hadn't been looking so ill. Defense had been her favorite class at Hogwarts. She might have even paid attention if her professor had looked like Remus. Before she could begin to wonder if he was the type who put students to sleep, Dumbledore said, "Remus, if you've finished the guard duty schedule, would you hand out this month's?"

Dumbledore stepped back into the center of the chairs as Remus walked around and handed out parchment to each member. Molly beamed at him as though he was her long-lost son.

"If you'll look at your schedules, Remus has put Emmeline in Hogsmeade tonight. As you may see by the lunar chart,"--everyone shifted to see the wall chart that showed a yellow orb on the following day—"tomorrow is the full moon," Dumbledore continued. "Charlie will of course be on duty, as well as Hestia and Kingsley."

Movement in the doorway caught her attention. Charlie had arrived, smiling slightly. Her stomach gave a swoop. Charlie nodded an apology to Dumbledore and beamed at Remus.

"What's happening, Reems?"

Remus nodded in return. "Charlie. Dragons treating you all right?"

Charlie laughed as his mother gave him a disapproving look.

"Where have you been?" Tonks hissed as Charlie slid into the seat in front of Tonks, trying to ask in a friendly, don't-have-a-crush-on-you type of way.

"Visiting Emmeline Vance to see where she was tonight and to update her on Order news. Her son was sick tonight."

Tonks raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. The gorgeous young woman was left single after a werewolf had attacked her husband. He died in St. Mungo's. Six months later, she gave birth to their son.

Dumbledore raised his arms. "That's all. You're dismissed to eat the wonderful meal Molly prepared for tonight."

Remus had finished his circuit and he came back and threw his arms around Charlie. "I've missed you. What have you been doing?"

"Keeping busy saving the world from dragon attacks," Charlie said. "What have you been doing?"

Remus shrugged. "I got fired from the Department of Lycanthropy."

"Is that even possible?" Charlie laughed, but in a sympathetic way. "What did you do?"

"I disagreed with the Head of the Department," Remus said. He seemed calmer about the whole incident now. Even so, Tonks was certainly interested to know more about him.

"You, the mild-mannered professor?" Charlie gasped. "What's happened to you?" He slugged Remus on the shoulder. "Good for you, man. You can take extra guard duty now that you don't have a job."

"I'm always on duty," Remus laughed. "I work twice a week and everyone else gets off with once a month."

Charlie shrugged. "My special defensive skills are needed only on full moons. Who knew werewolf skin was nearly as thick as dragon scales?"

Remus laughed. "Not really. Their heads are just thick."

"Don't be so prejudiced, Remus, werewolves are people, too," Charlie said.

For some reason, they both burst out laughing. Tonks stared at them.

"Anyway," Remus said, still chuckling, "I spent the last three months living with a bunch of creepy, werewolf-hating wizards and wizard-hating werewolves, cataloging every werewolf in the wizarding world, along with pictures and aliases, so forgive me if I seem a little bitter. Most of them work alongside You-Know-Who. Half of them have died since the registry was last updated. The other half weren't bitten yet."

"I'll help finish off the ones that aren't dead," Tonks said sharply.

Remus blinked at Tonks. "Excuse me?" he said, in a steely tone.

"I only said—"

"I heard what you said," Remus snapped. "And it was completely unnecessary and prejudiced, to be honest. What gives you the right to judge all those people?"

Tonks bristled. "A werewolf killed my brother."

"And does that give you the right to judge?" Remus said, not sounding sorry at all. Rather, he sounded angry and his voice was growing louder. He shook off the hand Charlie had placed on his arm. "You can't accuse nine hundred other people for what one person did to him."

"Well forgive me if I don't share your warm and fuzzy love for werewolves," Tonks spat.

Remus stared at her, breathing so hard that it was coming out as a snarl. Charlie pointed his wand at him and said softly, "Remus, come on, let's talk things out…"

"I'm done," he said, stepping back.

"I get the feeling we'll never be friends, Remus."

He grunted. "We can shake on that."

***

Dinner was uncomfortable, as Tonks was seated next to Remus. Across from her, Charlie chatted happily with his friend, but Tonks couldn't understand how so many people could like him. She found Remus annoying and rude.

"Why did you retire from Hogwarts?" Tonks asked Remus, after Charlie had turned to argue with Bill about which team would win the World Cup.

"I was fired," Remus said, shoveling food into his mouth.

Despite her anger earlier, she couldn't help but be intrigued. "Really?" she said, cutting her eyes at Dumbledore, who was smiling and talking with Molly across the table. She couldn't imagine that.

"Not by Dumbledore," Remus said, pausing to look at her. He took a sip of wine and said slowly, "By choice. I fired myself."

"And you got sacked at the Department as well?"

"Sure," Remus said indifferently.

"Where are you living now that you've been sacked?"

Remus paused, his fork halfway to his mouth. "I'll be living here from now on, with you and Charlie. After the Hogwarts term ends, we'll be protecting Harry."

"You can have the room next to mine," Tonks said quickly. She didn't mention that the room was drafty and beneath the attic that housed a noisy ghoul.

"Thank you," Remus said, unsmiling. "I suppose I'll be around a lot now that I'm unemployed…"

"You won't be unemployed," Charlie piped in. "Emmeline Vance has a toddler that we've been taking in turns to babysit while she works. You're good with kids, Remus."

"I'm good with teenagers," Remus protested. "That's different."

But by the glint in Charlie's eyes, Tonks could tell that Remus was now employed.

Tonks awoke to laughter the next morning. She heard music playing and the toddler's laughter coming from a distance. She dressed quickly and went downstairs and through the kitchen door. Brooks was in his highchair, banging on the tray with a spoon. Music filled the room and Remus was dancing to it. He froze when he saw Tonks. Tonks didn't know whether to laugh or apologize.

"Hi," Remus said, finding his voice, and he busied himself with cutting a pancake into small pieces for Brooks. "Do you work today?" he asked in a polite voice, pointing his wand at the small radio to turn down the volume.

"Yeah," Tonks said, pulling out a chair and sitting at the table. "Are you the only one up?"  
Remus nodded and pulled Brooks' chair closer to the table as he set a plate of pancakes on the tray. Sitting beside him, he began to eat his own. Up close, he looked pale with dark circles under his eyes.

"Where's Brooks' mum?"

As if on cue, Emmeline twirled into the room, her blonde hair swinging softly behind her. Brooks squealed and kicked his legs, saying, "Mama!"

Emmeline kissed him and smiled. "Thanks so much, Remus, for taking care of him while I work."

"Where do you work?" Tonks asked. She'd only seen Emmeline once before, at a meeting when she first joined the Order a few weeks ago.

"I own a clothing store in Hogmeade," Emmeline said. "Since I own it, it's the only reason I still have a job."

"Why?"

"Normal witches and wizards don't like to hire my kind," she said. "And I only hire people who are willing to work with a werewolf." She laughed. "And being female, I'm ill-tempered more than just once a month!"

Tonks had been taking a sip of water and she choked and spit it out. "You're a werewolf?" she sputtered, jumping up from the table. "And you have a child?"

Emmeline smiled at her calmly as though she was used to those reactions. "He's never in danger. Before I joined the Order, I used to have to put him to sleep on the night I transformed, leave him alone in the house with protective charms, and hope he wouldn't wake up in the night needing me. He's much safer now when I leave him with someone from the Order to look after him. It's not always fun to be a werewolf."

"Is it _ever_ fun?" Tonks gasped, looking Emmeline up and down warily. "How do you live with the fact that you have the ability to kill someone?"

"You don't even know the half of it," Emmeline said with a smile, and she lunged toward her son. "Watch out, Brooksy, a werewolf is gonna eat you!" she said, pretending to gobble his hand. Brooks laughed and hit her on the hand with a spoon. "Ouch!" She jumped back, laughing. "I guess that's what I get, huh?"

Remus laughed softly.

"Why is that funny?" Tonks snapped, anger pulsing through her. She was disgusted. "What if you put his life in danger?"

"I try not to dwell on that," Emmeline said, her face clouding over. "It's better to laugh at trouble than brood over it. My husband was killed, but I survived and gave birth to a healthy, beautiful, non-werewolf—" She crossed her fingers and looked up at the ceiling, "At least so far. I don't think I could handle two of us."

Remus cleared his throat. Tonks looked up to see a strange look pass between him and Emmeline.

"Are you coming home tonight before you transform?" he asked.

"I'll already be in Hogsmeade," Emmeline said. "I'll just Apparate to the—" She shrugged apologetically at Tonks, "Sorry to keep secrets, but I'm not supposed to say the name of the place where I transform. It's protected by spells to keep us in and you out."

"What are you doing tonight?" Tonks asked Remus. "Are you guarding Hogsmeade?"

He clenched his teeth as though in pain, but his face relaxed before Tonks said anything. "Dumbledore's having me do something else."

"Something secret?" Tonks said, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not a secret. Dumbledore knows what I do."

A long pause passed, in which Brooks banged on the tray. Emmeline looked at him with a pitying expression.

"Oh, I get it," Tonks said sarcastically. "You're just keeping secrets from me because you don't trust me, O Fabulous Remus Lupin."

Remus' mouth twitched. "Actually, that's true. And if you knew me better, you wouldn't trust me either. I think we're even, my friend."

Once Tonks set foot inside her office, her assistant buried her in piles of paperwork. Noon came and went. By the time she rearranged her schedule to squeeze lunch in, Hestia knocked on her office door and said, "There's a fight in Hogsmeade."

When they arrived in Hogsmeade, two angry men were rolling around on the ground, covered in blood. Their wands lay uselessly by their feet as men crowded around, shouting at them as they punched each other again and again.

Tonks pointed her wand and blasted the two men apart. Fuming, she turned to Hestia. "Is this our jurisdiction?"

"Doesn't look like it," Hestia said, pointing her wand at the big blond man who mopped his bloody nose with his sleeve. The crowd parted to let the two Aurors through.

"He's planning to attack Hogwarts tonight," the blond man bellowed.

The other one, a tough, muscular man with a bent nose from years of causing trouble, lunged for him, but Tonks pointed her wand at him and pulled him back.

"How on earth do you plan to do that?" Tonks snapped. She was in no mood to be nice to him. She'd skipped lunch in order to split up a fight that any of the twenty gawking onlookers could have broken up easily.

"He's a werewolf!" the blond man yelled. "He's got twenty men and orders from You-Know-Who to attack Hogsmeade tonight."

The crowd gasped and backed away as Tonks cast a binding spell around the tough looking man. He squirmed but couldn't break free of the bonds.

"I'm not leading the attack!" the muscular man shouted. "_He_ is, but I don't follow You-Know-Who and I can tell you the names of twenty werewolves. Remus Lupin--"

"Remus Lupin knows the names of more than twenty," Hestia said. "Meanwhile, I'll check the registry for both of your names. You'll be in there, right?"

"Of course," the blond man said, sounding offended. Jaden Cates and Gabriel Barton."

"Very well." Hestia shrugged. "Tonks, if you'll keep them occupied…"

Gabriel whimpered. "If you could—"

"Quiet!" Tonks snapped. "Did anyone ever tell you I hate werewolves?"

Hestia returned a moment later. "They're lying," she hissed, holding the book that Remus had put together. "Remus hasn't heard their names and they aren't in the registry. If they're really leading twenty werewolves, they're awfully quiet pack leaders."

"Who registered you?" Tonks asked the men.

The blond man stared stupidly at her. "Huh?"

"You said you were in the registry. Who registered you?"

"A…" the muscular man blinked at her. "A man from the Ministry."

"Oh really?" Hestia smiled at Tonks. "What was his name?"

They both blinked at her.

"Never mind," Tonks said, handing her wand to Hestia and flipping through the book. Miserable faces stared out at her from the book's pages. She swallowed a lump in her throat. "Tell me the twenty names you know."

"Nance, McBrayer, Stevenson…"

"Could you slow down, please?" Tonks said, flipping quickly. "Or at least go in alphabetical order?"

Hestia snorted.

"Where are you getting these names?" Tonks said, shaking her head. "It sounds to me like this is all a hoax. Why would you pretend to be werewolves?"

"To steal something?" Hestia suggested. "I didn't find your names in the werewolf registry, but your names popped up in another unexpected place, namely as unregistered animagi. You've also been involved in thievery before. Why don't you gentlemen come with us?"

Tonks was starving by the time they finished questioning the men. It had been a long time since she'd had breakfast. As they dragged up the stairs to their department, Tonks said, "Let's go eat."

"We can't yet," Hestia said. For some reason, she was smiling as they went through the doors and walked past rows of cubicles.

"Why not?" Tonks demanded.

"You need to question one more person," Hestia said. "Unless you take him to eat, then you can take the cost as business expenses."

"Thank you," Tonks said. She pushed through her office door and, sitting in a leather chair in front of her desk was the man she never expected to see in this building, Remus Lupin. A strange feeling rushed through her.

He stood nervously, looking as though he'd rather be somewhere else. "Hi, Nymphadora."

"Tonks," she said automatically. She turned, but Hestia had disappeared. "Um…can I help you with something?"

Unsmiling, he pointed to the book under her arm. "Hestia asked me to come get that registry, and she said you needed to ask me some questions, too."

"Do you know something about those men?"

Remus looked down and didn't answer.

"Remus!" Tonks snapped. "If you know something and don't say, that seriously jeopardizes--"

"Are you hungry?"

Tonks sighed. "Starving."

"Would it seriously jeopardize the case if we went somewhere else to talk?"

They Apparated to a restaurant right outside of Hogsmeade. Tonks sank into a booth and Remus sat across from her.

"Do you have information for me, then, or is this a ploy?" Tonks said. A waitress set water glasses in front of them, smiling slightly. "Jaden Cates, or Gabriel Barton, one of them mentioned your name."

"I don't know them," Remus said hurriedly. "Listen, did they mention the twenty men who were going to attack?"

"I thought we determined there wasn't going to be an attack, only a robbery," Tonks said. "Besides, am I supposed to be sharing information with you?"

Remus looked annoyed. "I do work for them, you know."

"I didn't know," Tonks said slowly. "I was under the impression you were unemployed."

Remus rolled his eyes. "That's my job in the Order. Just because it's a useless job doesn't mean I'm not working. What names did they give?"

"Nance and McBrayer were two that I checked," Tonks said.

Remus flipped through the book. "They're not in there," he said, rubbing his temples. He looked exhausted, with dark circles beneath his eyes. "Who else?"

"I wrote it on a piece of parchment there." Tonks opened the book to the first page. "Givens, Norman, Davis…"

"That's enough. Those are real names. How did those men know real names of werewolves?"

"They're unregistered animagi," Tonks said. "They admitted that they take the form of a wolf--"

"That's why they know the names," Remus said. "They're spies. That's where I've seen them before. What color are they?"

Tonks gaped at him. "Huh?"  
"As wolves. What color is their fur?"

"Brown?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "There are about thirty shades of brown. Care to be more specific?"

The waitress came back and they placed their orders. Tonks was deep in thought. Were these men spies or were they thieves? Or were they both?

Remus cleared his throat and Tonks jumped out of her thoughts. She'd almost forgotten he was there.

"I don't…" Remus cleared his throat again. "I don't have much more information, and it probably won't make much since unless I explain some things. But first, can I just tell you something and see how that goes?"

"Okay." Tonks folded her hands across the book and leaned forward expectantly. "What do you have for me?"  
"This is sort of…" he slid his hand across the cover of the book and brushed against her fingers, "…off the record, if you will."

Tonks looked at his hand, barely touching her fingertips, then back at his face. "What is it?"

"I don't know what to say." Remus rubbed his forehead. "I've said this a million times, why is this so hard?"

Tonks crossed her arms and stared sternly at him. "Will it make it easier if I remind you that withholding information from me could put you in Azkaban for life?"

"No," Remus said, tugging his hair. "It has nothing to do with those men. It's about my job for the Order. The one you accused me of keeping from you."

"What? Babysitting?"

Remus stood so quickly his water glass toppled over and splashed water onto the floor. "I can't do this," he said. "I have to go." He slid the book from underneath her hands.

"I need this book," Tonks said, grabbing it back.

Remus held his grip on it. They glared at each other, in a tug-of-war for the book. Water dripped steadily from the table.

"Nymphadora," Remus said sharply. "I need this back so I can finish it."

"I need it for the case," Tonks said.

"There is no case!"

Tonks pulled hard and Remus fell backwards into the booth. He looked angry and more embarrassed than before. He stood to leave and bumped into the waitress.

"Are you leaving now?" she asked sweetly.

"I have to go," Remus mumbled. Tonks rubbed her eyes, feeling like she might cry at any moment.

The waitress nodded. "Have a nice day, Mr. Lupin."

Remus frowned at her, a questioning look on his face, but then he rubbed his forehead and said again, "I have to go." He strode out of the restaurant.

The waitress slid into Remus' vacated spot. "What was that all about?"

Tears spilled down Tonks' cheeks. "I don't even know why I'm crying."

"Don't cry, honey," the waitress said. "I'm Allie, by the way."

"Nymphadora Tonks, but call me Tonks," she said in a shuddering voice. "He makes me so angry."

Allie waved her wand and two plates appeared in front of them on the table. "Luckily it's my lunch break, too, and I happen to like rare hamburgers." She frowned at Remus' plate and waved her wand again. "Okay, make that medium rare." She flashed a smile at Tonks. "It's one of the hazards of marrying a werewolf."

Tonks choked on her hamburger. She took a sip of water and coughed again. "You're married to a werewolf?"

Allie frowned slightly. "Davis Hemmings. He's an author and I'm very proud of him."

"Aren't you afraid he could kill you?"

Allie reached across to rest her hand on Tonks' arm. "Never. I trust him completely. He's still the same man I love."

"I can't imagine falling in love with a werewolf."

"I can," Allie said, smiling.

"My brother was killed by a werewolf."

Allie's smile faded. "Some of them are evil. As animals, they aren't aware of what they're doing, but some of them work for You-Know-Who thirty-one days of the month. But there are good men and women who don't choose to act like werewolves just because they are."

****

Tonks came to the door of Grimmauld Place with the registry, prepared to hand it to Remus and say, "Here's your book, Professor," (in a slightly teasing tone), but before she could knock, Remus and Emmeline came out. The first thing she noticed was that they were smiling and laughing. The second thing she noticed was that they didn't acknowledge her. Kingsley, Hestia and Charlie followed after them, discussing chess.

"Where are you going?" she called after them.

Remus blinked at her. Charlie answered, "We're going to keep the good people of Hogsmeade safe. Are you coming? We could use the help tonight."

"No," Tonks said.

They went back to their conversation, laughing as though they were headed to a Quidditch match instead of a mission for the Order. The laughter faded as they each Disapparated.

Irritated, she dropped the book onto the table in the entryway. The house seemed empty without everyone else. She almost wished she had volunteered for guard duty, but it scared her to be in Hogsmeade during the full moon.

The house was now empty. Charlie and Kingsley normally lived there full-time, and now Remus, but with the three of them gone, the house seemed especially lonely and dark. Tonks spent the evening on the couch reading, but the thick red book on the entryway table kept distracting her. Finally, after losing her place in her novel for the fifth time, she moved Remus' wand out of the way, picked up the book and flipped to the "H" section. There he was, Davis Hemmings, an author. And a werewolf. Tonks had read some of his books. How could a man who bit and scarred and murdered people once a month be a successful writer and a loving husband? Did they have children? Tonks hadn't thought to ask the waitress.

Tonks went to bed early, but lay awake for a long time listening to distant howling and thinking about how much she couldn't stand Remus…yet, at the same time, how much he intrigued her.

Remus slept most of the following day and awoke at dinnertime. He stumbled groggily to the table and inhaled four bowls of stew before standing quickly and saying, "Thank you, Molly. I'll be back later."

"Don't forget your wand," Charlie said.

"Are you feeling all right?" Kingsley asked, half-standing.

"I'm fine," Remus said, motioning for Kingsley to sit.

"Where are you going?" Tonks asked, clattering her spoon into her empty bowl.

"You'll see…I won't be gone more than an hour," he said to Arthur, who nodded his approval. "Does everyone remember who's on guard duty tonight?"

"I am!" Emmeline said.

"And me," said Arthur.

"Excellent," Remus said. "Any problems with the new schedule so far?"

"Professor…" Tonks said, rolling her eyes.

"All right," he said, smiling. "I'll be back later." He left the room and returned five seconds later. "Emmeline, will Brooks be all right--?"

"Fine," she said, draining her wine goblet. "I'm leaving him here again tonight. Someone will put him to bed at eight."

Remus nodded and turned on his heel. An entire minute passed this time before he returned with his wand in hand.

"Remus!" Charlie said, throwing down his napkin. "Brooks is fine, the schedule is great, and Snape's top secret potion is going fabulously."

Remus frowned at the new information, but then shook his head. "No, I was going to ask…" he looked at Tonks. "Would you like to come along?"

"On your super secret mission?" Tonks said.

"No, I would never take you on a super secret mission," Remus said. "You'd tell everyone and their grandmother."

"Not true," Tonks said, but she jumped up to grab her cloak and wand. "Oh, where did I leave my wand?"

"On the front table," Remus said, sounding embarrassed.

Tonks didn't register the reason for embarrassment until she followed him into the entryway and saw the small labels on a slotted box on the front table. "Remus Lupin," she read aloud. "Nymphadora Tonks. Charlie Weasley. Good grief, Professor, you made labels for our wands?"

His lip twitched and he squirmed uncomfortably. "Well…"

"Way to be anal."

"I prefer to see it as organization."

"Or obsessive," Tonks said, grabbing her cloak from the front closet. "Only four of us even live here full time." A strange feeling fluttered in her stomach as she turned back to face him. She ignored it in the way she always got rid of strange emotions—by talking. "Ready, Remus? Where are we going? This isn't where you went yesterday, by chance, is it?"

Smiling, Remus put his hand on her back and guided her out into the still-warm night air. "You'll see. Follow me."

They hurried down the street and ducked behind a tree where an Apparation point had been set up. Remus took Tonks' arm and with a pop, they vanished and reappeared in front of a dimly lit store that had black bars over its windows.

"These are Muggles!" Tonks said as they went inside. She took in their strange clothing and hairstyles. A man with dyed blond hair eyed her with interest. Remus put his hand on her back again and guided her to the back of the store. The strange fluttery feeling had returned and, looking at her own bright-eyed reflection in the mirror, she couldn't deny what it was. Her eyes traveled from her own reflection bright-pink hair to the shaggy brown-and-gray head next to her, but he wasn't looking ahead, he was looking back at the blond man.

Tonks stopped walking and Remus turned back and looked at her in surprise.

"What?"

"Where are we going?"

"Oh." Remus gave the blond man a final glance before turning back and saying, "Televisions. It's Arthur's birthday tomorrow."

"What is televisions?"

Remus sighed. "I forget about all the pure bloods running around who have absolutely no clue how the other half lives."

"What other half?" Tonks teased. "Did your mum even know your dad was a wizard?"

"Yes," Remus said, frowning at the price sticker. "She knew from the very start. He was very vocal about being a wizard and she loved him no matter what. He was what you might call indomitable."

"_You _might," Tonks said.

"It was good, though," Remus continued, moving down the aisle where the television sizes got progressively smaller. "He was a great advocate for giants and half-breeds and others who don't have much of a say. He and Dumbledore were good friends. His and Dumbledore's efforts combined were what allowed me to go to school."

"What do you mean? Because you were born to a Muggle?"

"No…" Remus said. A closed look came across his face. "I was a sickly child. At first, no one wanted me to go to school because they didn't think I was up to it."

"Are you a sickly adult?"

The antenna clattered off the top of the display television. Remus bent to pick it up and busied himself putting it back on. "Why do you ask?"

"Kingsley is always asking you if you're all right and you do look a little ill sometimes." She squeezed his upper arm gently. "Not that it's a bad thing," she said quickly when he pulled away. "It's…Remus!" He had walked to the end of the aisle, looking aggravated.

"What did I say?"

"Nothing," Remus said, the irritation clear in his voice. "Help me choose a television and we'll go back home."

They were waiting in line before Tonks brought it up again. "Sorry, I can't let it rest. I have to know what I said. I didn't mean 'sickly' in a judgmental way. It's just that you're pale and kind of…"

He whirled to look at her, eyebrows raised in what she imagined made students cower in his Defense classes. "No, please continue."

"Aw, shoot, Remus," Tonks said weakly. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…you're just kind of shabby. Your hair and your…robes and your…"

"Are you finished yet or will you continue to criticize my appearance?"

"I'm sorry." Tonks shut her mouth, determined to keep it shut as long as necessary. She hadn't meant to sound so critical of his appearance, especially since she thought he was quite good looking.

The teenager behind the counter scanned the price and told them the amount in a bored voice. Remus pulled some Muggle money from his pocket and paid the cashier. "Thank you."

"Do you need help carrying that out to your car?" the teen said, sounding as though he hoped they didn't.

"I think I can manage, as long as my muscles don't collapse under the strain," Remus said, cutting his eyes at Tonks.

"Maybe you can shove your puny little foot into my loud mouth," Tonks said quietly.

Remus burst into laughter. He held the door open for her, balancing the television in one arm. "Don't go too far," he warned as she started to head in the other direction. "We're going this way."

"Where?"

"Hogsmeade," he said. "I need to check some things."

"Do you think Emmeline and Arthur need help there?"

"No…" he said. "I need some new clothes."

"I told you I was sorry," Tonks said.

Remus shrugged. "You're right, though." He looked at his reflection in the glass and made a face. "I look so old and shabby."

"Shabby," Tonks corrected. "Not old."

"I am old."

"No you're not!" For some reason, it seemed important to her for Remus to not feel old. She had already done the math in her head and, with the huge gap in their ages—nine years if you rounded his age down and her age up—she didn't want him thinking of her as a child. Or worse, she shuddered, a little sister.

A worse thought hit her as their feet touched the ground in Hogsmeade. _What if he thought of her as a student?_

"When you were a teacher…" she began slowly, "were you ever…did you ever think of dating anyone?"

She cringed as he stiffened beside her. It had come out worse, much worse, than she'd meant.

"Do you mean did I ever consider dating Minerva McGonagall?" he asked sarcastically. "Or are you asking if I was interested in the giant squid? Or were you wondering if I ever considered dating a student?"

"None of the above," Tonks said quickly. "Sorry. Today is Insult Remus Day, didn't you get the memo?"

"No, I was busy celebrating Make Tonks Squirm Day."

"Good one, Professor!" Tonks said, enthusiastically high-fiving him in an attempt to distract him from the disturbing question she'd asked. Shaking his hand in dazed astonishment, he shifted the television to his other arm and pulled open the door to Melba's Robes, stepping back to let her go inside.

"Thank you," she said.

Melba bustled over to help and, in an instant, had robes of all colors piled in Remus' arms. He staggered backwards.

"Sorry, dear," Melba said, placing some of the robes into a chair. "Undo your robes and try these on."

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. Tonks jumped—"Oh!"—and turned her back to him, blushing. This whole evening had turned out stranger than she'd expected. She was supposed to be having these fluttery feelings for Charlie, who was a pureblood, her age, and from a good family.

"Very nice," Melba said, and Tonks, hoping she was commenting on his state of dress and not undress, turned around. She had to agree that green was his color. A tiny snitch must have gotten loose in her stomach, because she could feel it beating its wings inside.

"You were talking about my love life earlier?" Remus said as the witch took his measurements.

"Never mind," Tonks said, waving the topic away with her hand.

"No, it was a fine question," he said. "It just surprised me. Let's see…I would never date a student, of course. They were all children at least thirteen years younger than I was."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty five."

"Oh," Tonks said glumly. Add one more year to Tonks Math. No wait… "When's your birthday?"

"March 10th."

And another six months. The snitch in her stomach landed with a solid thump. If only her feelings hadn't appeared out of nowhere, she'd still be attracted to Charlie, good old dependable pureblood twenty-four year old Charlie.

"Is everything all right?" Remus asked, then said loudly, "Ouch!"

Melba had stuck him with a pin. "I'm so sorry!" she said, pulling out the pin and adjusting his sleeve. She stopped suddenly, staring at his arm. "What happened to your arm? It looks like a hippogriff's claw."

Tonks looked closer and saw a jagged scar across his forearm. "You have to be careful around them, they have nasty tempers."

Remus snorted. "The one that bit me had the nastiest temper of them all."

"What kind of job do you have?" Tonks asked. "Is that how you got the scar?"

"The scar is how I got the job," Remus said. "Dumbledore thinks I'm tough enough for it."

The witch pulled the measuring tape around Remus' middle and checked the number. "You could almost go down a size."

"My weight fluctuates," Remus said. Tonks hid a grin.

"Very well," Melba said. "I'm having a buy one, get one free special. You're in luck. Business hasn't been good lately. People are afraid to leave their homes."

They left the shop with a word of thanks and a bag of robes clutched in Tonks' hands. Remus picked up the television.

"Want to sneak into the Shrieking Shack?" Tonks asked as they walked through the deserted roads of Hogsmeade.

Remus tripped and nearly dropped the television. Tonks' arm shot out to steady him. "Careful, there, you'll get a reputation like mine."

Remus grinned. "I don't know about _that_."

"How about it, Prof?"

"Have you been in there before?" he asked.

"Should I lie and say no, since you're a professor?" Tonks grinned wickedly.

"Let's go," Remus said suddenly, and before Tonks could say another word, he was jogging up the path to the dark, haunted shack. She followed after him, the bag from Melba's swinging in her hand. A howling noise made her jump and she dove toward the warmth of Remus' side.

He chuckled softly. "It's just the wind. It was never haunted."

Even so, she stayed close to his side, enjoying the excuse to stay close to him. He picked up a stick and held it by his side.

"What's the big stick for?" Tonks snickered. "You already have a little stick." She pulled out her wand.

"Oh ho, very funny." He leaned on the stick and stopped at the top of the hill, breathing hard. "It's for balance. Okay, and protection, but thanks for reminding me of my wand. I'd forgotten."

He set down the television and motioned for her to put down the bag. Brandishing the stick in front of him, he poked the door open and jumped back when it squeaked open.

"Scared?" Tonks asked, her voice coming out in a higher pitch.

"No." His hand briefly brushed against her waist. "Come on, let's go inside." He pulled out his wand and shone the light in front of them. Tonks lit her wand as well, still snuggled as close to Remus as possible.

"Let's go upstairs."

Tonks let out a crow of delight. "How'd you know there was an upstairs, Mr. mild-mannered professor?"

Remus held the wand to his amused face. "I didn't lie to you. I've been in here a lot. I grew up with Sirius, the mastermind of mischief."

They looked around the deserted shack in silence for a while. The floor was covered with dirt and dust. Tonks shuffled to the foot of the stairs and, holding her dim wand light aloft, ran her hand along the scratched wood wall to grope her way upstairs. She came to the top of the stairs and saw a bed with rumpled sheets, as though someone had slept in the bed one night and left one morning without ever returning.

"I wonder who used to live here," she said thoughtfully. No one answered, and she turned to see that Remus had not followed her upstairs.

As she began to make her way downstairs, strange markings on the wall caught her eye. She shone her light on the scratched inscription that read: _This is the humble home of Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail, and Prongs. _She took in a sharp breath. Her cousin _had_ been here before. She'd heard him called by that nickname many times. Running her fingers along the scratched letters, she felt a connection to her favorite cousin who'd died much too soon.

"Remus?" she called, turning away at last. When he didn't answer, she shuffled down the stairs and followed the wall until she saw his dark outline, unmoving.

"Remus?" she repeated, fear welling up inside her. Again, he remained silent. She raised her wand light to see him better and was shocked to see his face glistening like diamonds in the wand light. Were those tears…? She turned her light toward the wall and read, in huge letters: _I hate it here. I want to die. _Beneath it read: _Bring me a silver bullet. _There was more writing, but Remus suddenly pulled her arm down so that they were in darkness.

"I don't understand who wrote those words," he said in a choked voice. "I'd forgotten how much pain and despair was in this place. Sirius used to come here and we thought of it as like a clubhouse, not a hellhole."

"Remus…" Tonks said softly.

"I'm sorry," he said, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. His voice was strong again. "I didn't mean to lose control. Let's go home."

Remus radiated shame and embarrassment, so Tonks didn't speak as they walked down the hill. He trudged slightly in front of her and Tonks let him. She didn't know what to say anyway. _It's all right to cry? I'm sorry you were so upset in front of me?_ Neither sounded particularly reassuring, so she stayed silent.

"Take my hand," he said gruffly and they Apparated together. Hogsmeade faded before their eyes and, landing with a thump down the street from Grimmauld Place, Remus quickly pulled his hand away and strode forward.

"Are you mad at me, Remus?"  
"No," he said, whirling toward her. "I'm mad at the person who wrote on the walls of that shack."

Not knowing what to say, Tonks walked a little ways behind Remus.

He slowed a bit and turned to her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Tonks waved away the apology. "You didn't do anything wrong. But I am curious why they called you Moony."

"Because I used to moon people."

"That's what Sirius told me!" Tonks said, laughing. "Did you really?"

"People will believe what they want to believe," Remus said evasively. He stopped walking and the house materialized in front of them. Remus shifted his weight and tapped on the door.

"Who is it?" called a voice inside.

"Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks," Remus replied.

The door opened and Kingsley pulled them inside, still pointing his wand at them. "What form does your Patronus take?"

"An eagle," Remus replied at the same time Tonks replied, "A squirrel."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

Kingsley lowered his wand and allowed them to enter the living room. Remus placed the television on the coffee table. Tonks smiled at the cozy scene in front of them. Molly sat on the yellow couch, reading a book to Brooks Vance.

"Beware of the feathery hippogriff," she read in a singsong voice as Brooks squealed and tried to pull a few feathers from the moving picture of the flapping hippogriff. The hippogriff let out an insulted "caw!" and flapped out of the picture.

"Hi, Brooks," Remus said, bending down and grabbing Brooks' toes. Brooks squealed and reached for his new babysitter.

"What did you bring?" Molly asked.

"A television for Arthur's birthday," Remus replied with a shy grin. Molly covered her eyes, but she was smiling. "Let me finish that book for Brooks then I'll put him in bed."

He sat down beside Molly and lifted Brooks into his lap. Tonks moved the television aside and sat down on the coffee table across from them. "Where were you? Oh…beware of the dragon! The scaly dragon's breath is soooo hot." He laughed as a burst of warm air puffed into their faces. "Hot breath. That's an understatement."

Turning the page, he read, "Beware of the werewolf! The furry gray werewolf's teeth are…" He stared at the words and blinked, then finished lamely, "…sooo furry."

Brooks looked up at Remus and rubbed his hair between his tiny fingers. "Furry," he repeated.

"Why are werewolves always defined by their teeth?" Remus said as the tiny werewolf growled and snapped its fangs in response. "Beware of the pink haired Auror!" he said in a singsong voice. "She's sooo lethal with a piece of wood."

"Beware of the mother of seven children!" Tonks said, smiling at Molly. "Her dinners are sooo to die for!"

"Beware of the dragon tamer!" Remus said. Tonks looked up to see Charlie leaning against the doorframe. "His spells are sooo deadly!"

Tonks' stomach squirmed, but she wasn't looking at Charlie. Instead, her eyes were on Remus, whose smile seemed to light up his face as he looked at Brooks.

"Beware of the Potions Master!" Charlie called out. "His potions are soooo smelly."

The four adults burst into laughter. Brooks stared at each face, then joined in the laughter, his high-pitched squeal louder than the others combined. Severus appeared around the corner, red-faced and sweaty. "What the--?"

But their laughter doubled at the sight of him. Molly wiped her eyes on her sleeve and hurried toward the kitchen, her shoulders shaking with laughter. With a huff, Snape swished out of the room. A strange, acidic smell lingered after him.

Brooks squirmed out of Remus' arms and grabbed a marker that was lying on the table.

"Parchment only," Charlie said as Brooks headed toward the wall with a gleam in his eyes. He scooped up the toddler and set him in front of the coffee table. "Draw a picture for Auntie Tonks."

Remus slid onto the floor and took a marker. Brown ink squirted from it. "Brooks reminds me of Harry as a baby. James bought him a toy broomstick and Lily hated it because she thought it wasn't safe."

"That sounds like my dad." Charlie smiled and grabbed a blue marker, scribbling alongside Brooks' picture. "He bought one for Ginny when she was a toddler. She was the only girl, he felt she had the right to dangerous toys just as much as the boys."

Tonks handed a color to Brooks. He giggled and covered the paper with orange scribbles. Satisfied that the toddler was content, she looked for the brown marker, but Remus had taken it to outline a tree.

"What are you drawing?"

"A forest," Remus replied. "It's the only thing I'm good at."

"Make it daytime," Tonks said, "since the Forbidden Forest is creepy at night."

"And forbidden at all times," Remus said. "Hence the word 'forbidden.' It's dangerous in there. Scary things hide out in the forest."

"Yeah, unicorns and bugs," Tonks said, barely hiding the sarcasm.

"And giant spiders, centaurs, thestrals, giants…" Remus said, drawing the form of a person, "but you're an Auror, so you're smart enough to do what you please."

"What's this?" Tonks asked, pulling Remus' drawing closer. "A person in the Forbidden Forest?"

Remus stared at the small figure in his drawing as though it had betrayed him. "It's a teacher," he protested.

"Teachers are allowed in the Forbidden Forest?" Tonks teased.

"It's me," Remus said. "I'm allowed, because I'm an amazingly special teacher."

"It looks like a female to me," Tonks interrupted. Charlie studied the drawing and nodded in agreement.

Remus sighed and gave Tonks a wearied grin. "Fine, all sorts of people go into the forest. But if a giant spider eats you for dinner, don't say I didn't warn you." He grabbed a pink marker and scribbled spiky hair on the figure. "The Shrieking Shack is also off limits," he said, smiling.

Tonks nodded, his lips twitching at the corners. "Yes, Professor. I know it's haunted."

"Boo!"

Remus jumped and streaked a line of pink across his forest. Charlie cackled with laughter.

Remus sighed and turned the streak into a pink sky.

"Students don't ever go in the Shrieking Shack and they've never tried to get past the Whomping Willow," Charlie said seriously.

"Shut up, you two," Remus said, trying not to smile as he handed a new color to Brooks.

Tonks peered over at Remus' drawing. "The woman in your drawing has fantastic hair. Is it me?" The woman in his drawing looked up at her, beamed, and waved her stick arm wildly in greeting.

Remus stared at it for a long time before answering. "It was the first color I grabbed," he said, not sounding very convincing.

"Hmm," Tonks said, her stomach fluttering again, and it was then that she noticed all his trees were outlined in brown.

The clock chimed and Remus looked up and swept Brooks into his arms. "Let's go to bed, baby."

As they left the room, Charlie said, "You heard the man, Tonks."

Tonks rolled her eyes. She saw a lot of her cousin Sirius' qualities in Charlie. Sirius may have held the world record for noticing the most innuendo, but Charlie was a close second.

Charlie finished his dragon outline and gently blew the ink dry. "You like that man."

"Huh?" Tonks said, so distracted by the moving, squiggly lines in Brooks' drawing that she didn't register Charlie's words at first. "What? Who?"

"Remus John Lupin." Charlie wiggled his eyebrows. "Come on, your eyes light up every time he enters the room. You like him."

"No…" Tonks said. "We're just barely friends. Half the time we're going off on each other."

Charlie grinned at that.

"What?" Tonks slapped at him. "Quit laughing at my naivety, I'm not trying to make any sexual innuendo here."

"Huh?" Charlie stared at her in bewilderment. "Wow, I didn't even think of that and I normally do. I was just smiling because I'm happy for you. But now that you've got me thinking…"

Tonks slapped him again.

****

Tonks awoke the next morning to a sudden yell. Her heart pounding, she jumped out of bed, threw on a robe, and crept down the hall with her wand pointed straight out. But when she rounded the corner, she heard laughter and Arthur threw his arms around Remus.

"It's wonderful!" Arthur said, removing his glasses to wipe his eyes. "Thank you, Remus. It's just what I wanted."

Remus looked up at Tonks and gave her a special smile that made her heart begin pounding again. "Tonks helped pick it out."

"Thank you," Arthur said again, crossing the room to hug Tonks.

A wail issued from the small room off the hall. Remus hurried off to get Brooks from his bed.

"Let's try out your new gift," Tonks said, pressing the button to turn on the television. The screen lit up and two puppet pigs bounced around on screen.

"Is this a Muggle show?" Arthur said, nearly as excited and bouncy as the puppet pigs. He stared at it, transfixed. Tonks imagined he'd never seen anything like it. She certainly hadn't. A puppet wolf roared and Tonks and Arthur both jumped back in shock.

"Are they real?" Tonks asked, touching the television gently with her fingers.

"Of course not," Arthur said. "The picture is formed by small dots that make up a picture and appear to be moving." But he looked impressed all the same.

"I'll huff!" the wolf was saying, "And I'll puff! And I'll bloooow your house down!" The pigs screamed and tried to run away but, as much as the wolf blew, he couldn't blow down the house. Tonks sighed in relief and looked up to see Remus, holding the sleepy toddler and watching her in amusement.

"What?" she snapped.

"You were worried the big bad wolf was going to eat the pigs?"

"Yes," she said shortly. "I've heard that Muggle entertainment is much more frightening than ours."

"It's a children's show," Remus said. "It's for people Brooks' age. See? He likes it." Brooks was laughing and jabbing his finger at the screen, saying, "Wolf! Wolf! Pig! Oink oink!"

His superior smirk was so maddening! Tonks turned on her heel and marched back through the hall and upstairs to her room. Wasn't it enough that she was frightened awake by what she thought was someone yelling in fear? She was an Auror, after all, trained to react to anything dangerous. Who was he to tell her not to be afraid of wolves, to say in that pompous voice, "_It's a children's show_"?

A moment after she had shut the door, there was a knock on it.

Tonks opened it and saw a glimpse of Remus. She tried to shut it and suddenly she was knocked off balance and she was sprawled on the floor while he stood over her.

"Sorry," he said, holding out his hand. She ignored it and jumped to her feet.

"Besides barging into my room—"

"I'm sorry," he said again, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I didn't mean…I shouldn't have insulted you. I forgot that…you said you were afraid of…wolves." He mumbled the last few words so that, even though she was less than a foot from him, she had to strain to hear him.

"I don't like to be treated like a child," Tonks said, crossing her arms and staring defiantly at him.

"I know," he said, staring a hole into the floor. "I wouldn't like it much, either."

"Mad Eye already treats me like I don't deserve to be an Auror, and I worked just as hard as he did, just because I'm twenty-four…I've been out of school for—Stop! You're treating me like a child again!" For he had started to chuckle just as her voice had begun to grow louder and more impassioned.

Remus stopped immediately. "I'm not laughing because you're childish," he said, hesitating so that his words came out in short bursts, "because I don't think you are. I'm laughing because I'm embarrassed and you're—unnerving."

Remus was nervous around her? As Tonks stood, trying to digest this strange new information, he cleared his throat and said awkwardly, "Well…I should feed Brooks…"

And Tonks, brave Auror who'd wandlessly tackled men twice her size, who'd taken on the darkest wizards of all time, was too nervous to go downstairs to eat breakfast after that. She waited in her room until it was too late to eat breakfast before sneaking down the stairs and slipping out the front door.

****

Remus disappeared from time to time over the next few weeks. Tonks never quite knew where he went, because she had so little time to talk to him these days. Kingsley was gone a lot, too. As a Healer, he was now working twice as much as normal since a virus was making its rounds. Tonks had heard him talking with Remus about a new victim of werewolf attack, John Wagner and they had gone together to visit with him several times. Remus invited Tonks but she always declined with a shudder and the explanation, "You know how much I hate werewolves."

"But they're just normal people!" Remus would argue. "John wasn't even a werewolf a month ago. You wouldn't have minded then!"

"He wasn't capable of murder a month ago," Tonks argued back.

Remus hung his head. "All witches and wizards are capable of murder," he muttered. "Even you, Nymphadora Tonks."

The next few days passed in a blur. Remus flitted in and out of the house but, as Emmeline had taken those days off work, he wasn't needed to babysit. Every time he entered the room, an uncomfortable silence fell. Tonks noticed his eyes on her more than once.

She was helping Molly cook dinner one weekend when Remus entered through the swinging kitchen door.

"Hi, Molly," he said cheerfully, even though Tonks noticed he looked ill again. He nodded politely. "Tonks. Are you cooking?"

"For what it's worth," she replied. She prodded the fire with her wand and her sleeve burst into flames.

"_Agmenti_," Remus muttered, putting out the flame with water from his wand. "Tonks, did you go with Kingsley to see John Wagner?"

Tonks burst into hysterical laughter. "Are you serious? Of course not!"

"Oh." Remus blinked at her, staring at her in a way that was, to use his word, _unnerving. _"I thought you had. You've been acting a little strange lately."  
"What does visiting Wagner have to do with anything?" Tonks said. "Did you think I developed a sudden love for werewolves?"

Remus shrugged and blood rushed to his face. "I was hoping…"

Molly patted him on the shoulder in a motherly way before carrying a stack of plates through the swinging kitchen door. A burst of noise and laughter came from the dining room, then the door swung shut again.

In the sudden silence, Tonks stared at her burned and sopping wet sleeve. "You're acting a little strange yourself."

Without answering, Remus turned to look at the schedule on the refrigerator. Tonks noticed he looked pale and there were dark shadows under his eyes.

"Who's on duty tonight?" Tonks asked.

"You and me…" Remus squinted at the schedule and tapped it with his wand. "It's supposed to be Charlie and Kingsley." He frowned at his name, flashing bright yellow and tapped the schedule again so that it flashed green. "There." He turned back to her. "Listen, there's nothing wrong with being afraid of werewolves, but I wish you'd stop saying you hate them."

"You're a strange man," Tonks said bitterly. "If you knew what werewolves do to people—"

"I _do _know, and a lot of them are evil, murderous beasts," Remus insisted. "But I give them all a chance to prove me wrong."

"You want me to walk up to a snarling monster under the light of the full moon and tell him that I'll give him a chance? Why don't I just stick my head in his mouth?"

"Stop it," Remus said, looking more embarrassed than angry. "You know that's not what I mean. I'm talking about the other thirty days of the month, when a wolf is human. When they have the ability to love and show kindness and—"

"All right," Tonks interrupted. She felt like a child being reprimanded by the school headmaster. "I'll think about it."

Remus turned and slapped his hand against the kitchen counter. "Excuse me while I step off my soap box."

Tonks giggled.

He turned back to her and tugged her sleeve affectionately. "I'm sorry, I'm a little touchy about that. That's not what I meant to discuss with you. I wanted to ask you a question."

And then he fell silent.

"Is it about Hogsmeade?" Tonks burst out when she couldn't stand the awkwardness another moment, "because I already--"

"No," Remus interrupted, twisting the edge of his shabby robes in his hands.

Tonks tried again. "Do you want me to get you a copy of the notes from the meeting you missed?"

"No," he said. "Listen, I feel like a fool because we're in the middle of a war…"

A blush crept up Tonks' cheeks as Remus stepped toward her and took one of her hands in his.

"I really don't know how to say this--" he began, but he was interrupted by the sudden entrance of Molly Weasley, who turned quickly and began to run water loudly in the sink, "—but can you get the notes for me from the meeting?" He dropped her hand as quickly as if her sleeve had burst into flame again.

Molly bustled around the kitchen, pretending she hadn't noticed anything.

"You just said you didn't need them!" Tonks said, a bit annoyed at Molly's presence. She'd been sure Remus had been about to say something else before she'd walked in.

"You take the minutes, don't you?"

"I charm a quill to take notes," Tonks said coldly, stepping around him.

"I can take notes for you," said Molly, "if that's what you _really_ need."

Remus stared at her for a few moments. "No, that's all right, Molly," he said finally, before exiting into the dining room.

Irritated, Tonks clenched her fists.

"What was that all about?" Molly asked.

"I think…" Tonks began, but that was all she could get out. Tears welled up in her eyes and Molly pulled her into a hug.

"What is it, dear?"

Tonks lowered her voice to a whisper so that only Molly could hear. "I think I'm in love with Remus."

"Of course you are," Molly said soothingly. "You two are perfect for one another."

Tonks pulled away at arms length from Molly. "We are?"

Molly laughed. "He cares a lot about you. You're both together a lot, it was bound to happen. He's very handsome."

Tonks giggled. "Isn't he, though?"

"I changed the schedule so you'd have guard duty together, as an extra push in the right direction."

"You did that?" Laughing, Tonks pointed at the schedule. "He changed it back. Maybe you should leave the schedule alone. He's a little possessive of it since he made it and all."

Molly nodded wisely. "We'll think of something."

Tonks and Molly entered the dining room. Everyone had already sat in his or her place at the table. Tonks sat beside Remus and, seeing Molly's smile, wondered if this seating arrangement had been deliberate.

Kingsley and Remus were deep in discussion, serious looks on both faces.

"—John Wagner was brought into St. Mungo's last month after being bitten by a werewolf…" Kingsley was saying.

"And Greyback's aiming to kill," Remus said. "He's going after anyone who speaks out against Voldemort. I guess John was his target."

Tonks quickly turned her attention to Ginny and Ron across from her at the table. They were arguing over the rules of Quidditch Tag, which seemed a much better conversation topic than Remus and Kingsley's.

They had barely finished the first course when Remus stood and excused himself. "I need to leave. I'm sorry, Molly."

Emmeline tossed her napkin on the table and stood. "I need to go as well. Bye, honey bunny," she said, waving to her son. "See you tomorrow. Be good for Mrs. Weasley. Go to bed on time. No smoking or drinking."

Remus laughed and took her arm. "Ready?" His gaze lingered on Tonks, but he addressed the whole group. "I'll see you tomorrow."

The other Order members left one by one until it was only Tonks, alone in the house. Feeling this seemed very familiar, she sat on the couch and read a book in the gloomy, dark house until she couldn't stand the loneliness anymore and went to bed.

****

She awoke early, thanks to her long night's sleep, and tossed and turned for another hour before giving in and padding into the kitchen. Yawning, Tonks brewed some coffee and sat down to drink it when there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Tonks called.

"Severus Snape," the voice answered back. "My Patronus is a doe."

Tonks opened the door and Snape pushed past her, stopping at the swinging kitchen door. "What is that?"

"This?" Tonks held up her mug. "Coffee."

Snape seemed to be battling with his inner thoughts. He finally let out a deep sigh and trudged to the table. "Fine," he said, as though she'd been the one arguing with him. "Just a little."

Feeling a bit uncomfortable, Tonks was grateful for the early hour. No one was expected to be civil and conversational at half past six.

Her mug was nearly empty before she finally spoke. "What are you doing here?"

Snape blew gently into his coffee to cool it. "I'm working on a potion of my own invention. Why are you up so early?"

Tonks shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."

"It happens to the best of us," Snape said, taking a sip.

A knock on the door made them jump. Tonks sloshed coffee on the table.

"Who is it?" Snape called cautiously.

"Remus Lupin and Emmeline Vance," said the voice. Tonks' stomach did jumping jacks. "My Patronus is an eagle and Emmeline's is a wolf." He rattled the doorknob, but Snape didn't open it.

"Where have you been?" Snape asked.

"Shopping in Hogsmeade," Emmeline replied. "I made a shirt for Remus, which I'll show you if you let us in."

"I don't think we should show it to Snape," came Remus' quiet voice, "or Tonks. I don't think Tonks will have much of a sense of humor about it."

"Whatever," Emmeline said with a laugh. "It's funny."

With a feeling of foreboding, Tonks crossed the room and wrenched the doorknob from Snape, who stepped back at once as Tonks pulled it open. Remus, who had been leaning against the door, fell in. Emmeline stepped over him, saying, "Where's my son? Is he still sleeping?"

Remus stood and brushed himself off. He looked different without his robes. Rather, he was wearing dark denim jeans and his arms were crossed defensively over his chest. His arms didn't completely cover the words on the t-shirt, which read: "I'm a werewolf, what's your excuse?"

Tonks felt the blood drain from her face. "That's the shirt you thought I'd hate?"

Remus stared down at it. "Emmeline got it for me in Hogsmeade." He looked up into the uncomfortable silence that had fallen in the air. Emmeline was looking at her with the same expression one would have while dismantling a bomb. "Tonks, I thought you'd have figured out by now—"

"No!" Tonks said loudly.

"—that I'm a werewolf—"

"Stop!" Tonks covered her ears but she could still hear Remus jabbering away.

"—but Emmeline that you treat her the same as usual and she took me shopping because she said I needed to have a sense of humor about it—"

Tonks ran from the kitchen towards the entryway table. Moments later, Remus tore after her and skidded to a stop behind her.

"No!" she said as she flipped open the registry. Her hands shook as she turned to the 'L' section. "No! No! No! No!"

Remus darted behind her and placed his hands over hers. "Tonks, don't…"

"Stop it!"

He pulled the book from her grasp and grimly flipped through pages. An image was already beginning to form in her mind…one of an angry, snarling beast with yellow eyes and bared teeth…

He set the book in front of her without speaking. His expression told her the truth, but her stomach lurched again as she looked down at the page and saw Remus' own miserable face staring up at her beneath the caption "Lupin, Remus."

"I'm a werewolf, Tonks."

Tonks swore angrily. "You_ know _I didn't know you were a werewolf!" she shoved him and he stumbled backwards, looking shocked and hurt. "Don't lie to me and tell me I should have figured it out. How was I supposed to guess? You shouldn't lie to me."

"I wasn't lying," Remus said, looking uncomfortable and ashamed. "I didn't want to tell you in person because I knew you'd act like this."

He stepped forward, but she whipped out her wand and held it to his throat.

"You're an idiot, Remus!" she yelled. Faces peeked around the kitchen door, but Tonks sent a glare that made them scatter quickly. "Why did you think I couldn't handle the truth?"

"Because you told me a million times how much you hate werewolves," Remus said quietly.

"That doesn't mean I'll automatically hate you!" Tonks shrieked. "I do _now_!"

Remus' lips twitched. "So your prejudice is selective?"

"Remus--" Tonks warned, her hand shaking. Sparks shot from her wand and he jumped backwards.

"I'm the same person," he said, taking another step backwards and holding out his hands, palms up. "I didn't want you to know because I thought maybe this would work."

"You thought _what _would work?" Tonks said, her wand-hand shaking. "What, exactly?"

Remus smiled, blushing. "I took your challenge to heart," he said. "I thought we could be friends. Despite our age difference and our personality differences and my…condition."

Tonks lowered her shaking hand, feeling as though it was made of lead. She couldn't look him in the eye. "I can be friends with a werewolf. I can't be friends with someone who lies to me about what he is because he thinks I can't handle it. It offends me that you think so little of me."

He stepped forward but she held out her hand to stop him as fear flooded her.

"Don't," she said, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"What can I do to prove I'm not some maniac--?"

"You already have," Tonks sniffled, wiping her eyes. She was angry with herself for thinking of him as more than a friend. She could be friends with a werewolf, but she would never fall in love with one.

"I can't stop being a werewolf," Remus said dully. "That's impossible."

"So is our friendship," Tonks said, backing away from him. "No, Remus, you ruin everything."

****

Remus spent most of the day asleep on the couch in the upstairs study, which used to be Sirius' but was now used by various Order members. In the corner, Snape diced potions ingredients, looking as sour as Tonks felt, and cursing softly once in a while when the mood struck him. In the opposite corner at a roll top desk, Tonks filled out the frustrating but necessary paperwork for her supervisor. From time to time, she glanced through the werewolf registry, writing down names. Between them, Remus lay beneath a sheet on the couch, fast asleep. His soft breathing distracted her and finally she slammed the book shut and glared around the room.

"What are you brewing?" Tonks asked. She wiped sweat from her forehead. The steam from the cauldron drifted through the air.

"A variant of Wolfsbane," Snape said and added, to Tonks' confused expression, "Wolfsbane. It allows werewolves to keep their minds when transformed." He smirked. "For whatever it's worth."

Tonks smiled thinly and a small look of understanding passed between them. A werewolf had nearly attacked him when he was fifteen; she'd heard Sirius talking about it once.

"This, however," Snape said, "is my own invention. The goal is to allow us to keep our minds under the Imperius curse." He looked slightly creepy, leaning back in his chair and staring over his cauldron at her. "Care to test it for me?"

"No thank you," Tonks said, crossing the room. As she tripped over a loose floorboard, Remus stirred in his sleep.

"I'd like a second opinion before I test it on anyone," he said, frowning as she picked herself up and dusted her robes. "Care to inspect it?"

He handed her both the original potion for Wolfsbane and his own version, scrawled in cramped letters.

"I understand the ingredient list for this," Tonks said, pointing to the original, "but aren't two rat spleens a bit redundant?"

"They counteract violent seizures and heart failure."

"Touché," Tonks said. She squinted at Snape's own handwritten potion. "Nice job, Sev.

"I wish you'd been in Slytherin. You trust it, then?" Without warning, he lunged forward and squirted some into her mouth. She choked and swallowed it, spluttering, "SEVERUS SNAPE, YOU EVIL GIT, YOU MURDEROUS—"

"_Imperio_," Snape said lazily.

Immediately, a calm sense of security enveloped her. She smiled at Snape, holding his wand at her.

"Walk to the couch," he said. She strode confidently to the couch and stood, waiting for Snape to speak again.

"Kiss Remus."

She bent and pecked him on the head, a warm calmness washing over her.

"Kiss Remus on the lips," Snape said. Humor tinged his voice, though Tonks didn't quite understand why. All she knew was that she had to do exactly what Snape told her. Seizing Remus by his shoulders, she pulled him into a sitting position and snogged him. His lips felt warm, if not lifeless, and she stopped only when she heard a roar of laughter behind her and Remus took a sharp intake of air and pushed her away.

"What on earth are you _doing?"_ shouted Charlie behind her. His face was red from laughter.

Snape lowered his wand and suddenly Tonks became aware of all eyes on her. A blush spread across her cheeks and she looked back at Remus, blinking and rubbing his mouth dazedly.

"Were you snogging a sleeping—"

"Weasley," Snape interrupted sharply. Tonks hung her head, wishing she could morph away her shame. She hated Snape.

"Was she—?"

"I was testing a potion," Snape said to Charlie, not looking at either Remus or Tonks. "Dumbledore approved it, as did Nymphadora, but it clearly didn't work. You are not to speak of this to anyone, Weasley. This is classified information."

"You mean that Tonks snogged Remus?"

A blush spread across Remus' face now. He sat, gripping the edge of the sheet, looking angry and bewildered.

"No!" Snape yelled. "This potion is secret!"

"Is it a love potion?" Charlie grinned.

"Get out!" Snape bellowed.

"I was under the Imperius curse!" Tonks shouted after him. "Git!"

The door shut with a bang. Tonks could still hear laughter in the hall. After the laughter faded, they sat in silence for what seemed like forever.

"Ah," Snape said suddenly, as if he'd only just noticed. "You're awake, Lupin."

"Yes…" Remus said, still unconsciously touching his lips. "Should…dare I ask?"

Snape let out a deep sigh. "It's a potion that, if possible, allows the wizard to easily throw off the Imperius curse. I suggested that Nymphadora give you a…peck on the cheek."

"You did not!" Tonks snapped, determined Remus not get false information. "You told me to snog him on the lips!"

"At any rate," Snape said quickly, "it was ineffective on her."

Remus' face relaxed. He looked less angry and, was it possible, amused? "Can I give it a go?"

"It didn't work," Tonks said, at the same time Snape said, "Most definitely," and crossed the room with a goblet in hand.

Remus took a mistrustful sip and gagged. "What is it, Wolfsbane?"

"Similar," Snape said, smirking. "Just drink it."

Remus took a deep breath and drained the goblet. "Now what?"

Snape pointed his wand at Remus. "Imperio," he said in a bored voice.

Tonks looked at Remus carefully. His eyes looked glassy and the same calm, relaxed look appeared on his face.

"I'm not sure if glassy eyes are the work of the Imperius curse or a side effect to the potion," Snape said with an indifferent shrug. "At any rate…Lupin, stand up."

Remus smiled and stood, a dazed smile still on his face.

"Turn around."

"Stand up, turn around, pick up the beat and hit the ground!" Tonks sang. "Shake your booty!"

Snape raised an eyebrow. "As amusing as Weird Sisters music may be to you, it's highly unlikely that a Death Eater will require him to, as you put it, shake his booty."

"Oh yeah?" Tonks said defensively, crossing her arms. "And I suppose they'll ask me to snog everyone I meet?"

"Very well," Snape said, a small smile playing about his lips. "Lupin, shake your booty."

"I'd rather not," Remus said.

"Remus Lupin!" Snape said sharply, "I'm commanding you to shake your booty. Imperio!"

Remus shrugged. "Well I'm commanding you to jump in a lake."

Snape lowered his wand, smirking and. "Well, well," he said dryly. "Imagine that. Wolfsbane potion works on half breeds."

The anger and discomfort came speeding back. Remus' lips tightened and he turned toward Tonks.

"Tonks…?"

"Not now," Tonks said. She waved her wand at the desk, stacking the papers neatly on top, and strode from the room.

****

Tonks was glad to finally leave the house that evening for guard duty, but she'd forgotten that Remus had switched schedules with Molly tonight. They silently Apparated to Hogsmeade and Tonks strode away from Remus as soon as her feet touched the ground.

"Tonks!" Remus yelled after her. "You'll have to get over this!" His footsteps jogged closer and she pointed her wand at him threateningly.

He held his arms out, looking indignant, but said again, "You'll have to get over this. If there's an attack tonight and you're refusing to speak to me—"

"I'll send sparks in the air!" Tonks yelled, even though he was only a few feet away. "I can be professional and still hate you!"

Remus smirked. "Well as long as we've got that cleared up…" He started to walk away. "By the way," he added, turning back to look at her, "I've been judged, hated, fired, and spit at all my life, so a five foot tall Auror with pink hair really doesn't threaten my self worth."

_That could have been left unsaid_, Tonks seethed as she stalked around Hogsmeade, checking locks on the doors and placing spells on those that weren't. She wasn't judging or hating or spitting at him, she was afraid of him. Didn't he know by now? It slightly embarrassed her to think how many times she'd told him she hated werewolves. And yet, he'd had plenty of opportunity to hurt her or become angry with her over that, and he never had.

After a while, Tonks wished there was something to make Hogsmeade slightly dangerous. The fear and anger pounding in her veins made her crave some excitement. The way Remus and Mad-Eye talked, they could be attacked at any second. In reality, she and Remus walked around Hogsmeade in opposite directions, passing each other six times, before taking a rest on opposite sides of the teashop. She noticed, on her second time around, that he was still wearing the "I'm a werewolf" t-shirt. She was getting more used to it.

Tonks yawned and settled back glumly against the glass window of the teashop. The moon cast strange shadows across the sidewalks and in the distance Tonks could hear the trees creaking in the wind. Looking at the Shrieking Shack too long made her sad and she quickly looked away.

At dawn, she wished Remus was beside her to watch the sun rise. Shop owners began turning on lights and sweeping out their stores. As Tonks walked along the sidewalk, she heard a slightly hoarse voice call behind her, "Tonks!"

As she turned to tell Remus that she was sorry for being so rude the night before, a familiar voice shouted, "Remus!" She turned to see Emmeline running toward him.

Remus beamed at her. "Hi, Em."

_Em?_ Since when had Remus used nicknames? Tonks always had to remind him her name wasn't Nymphadora. Narrowing her eyes slightly, she watched Remus' eyes light up as Emmeline drew closer.

"Hi, Tonks," Emmeline said brightly. "Sorry I'm so out of it, Brooks was awake half the night last night. He missed his fave nanny."

"Nanny?" Remus said in disgust, but he was smiling a little too much. Tonks took a step back and neither of them so much as looked at her.

"I wanted to show you my newest shirt," Emmeline said, rubbing his chest. "And I see you're wearing that old classic. Anyway, one of my employees designed this one for Werewolf Awareness Day." She held up a tiny t-shirt that read: "Son of a Werewolf."

"For Brooks," Remus said, grinning.

Tonks cleared her throat. Remus blinked at Tonks as though he was awakening. "Oh."

Remus took in a sharp breath at the same time Emmeline winced. They shared a smile as Remus sank onto the wooden steps that led to the Green Dragon Restaurant.

"Are you all right?" Tonks asked.

"It's after effects," Emmeline said, massaging her stomach gently. "It happens sometimes when the moon is setting. I don't know why. Moony's the expert."

Tonks bit her thumb and looked away. Her wand shook in her hand as Remus and Emmeline laughed again. They began talking about John Wagner, the werewolf who'd been taken to St. Mungos, and Emmeline suggested making him a shirt that read "Sexy Beast."

Clenching her fists, Tonks took in a deep breath and walked even further from them.

"Tonks, don't go too far," Remus called after her.

She ignored him and kept walking.

"Tonks!" His footsteps followed her and suddenly he reached out and grabbed her arm. "What's wrong, Tonks?"  
"You sure are expecting a lot from me lately," Tonks said, her eyes full of tears. "Telling me you're a werewolf, then expecting me to like hanging out with you and Emmeline together."

"I wish I'd told you sooner," Remus muttered. "I just wanted you to like me and give me a fair shot before you knew."

"You put me in danger by not telling me," Tonks said.

"I've never hurt anyone in the Order." Remus' gaze dropped to the ground. "And I would certainly never put you in danger." Tonks thought he'd added a slight emphasis on "you", but it was hard to tell by his solemn expression.

"Remus!" Emmeline called from the porch of her store. "I'll see you tonight! Molly's taking care of Brooks today so you and Tonks can go to bed." Her head disappeared, then popped back around the door. "Separately! I meant go to your own separate beds. Sorry, I'm making this more awkward. See you!"

Embarrassment and jealousy fought inside her. Tonks shoved them both down and, feeling exhausted, leaned on Remus' arm as they Apparated back to Grimmauld Place.

"I think he's in love with Emmeline!" Tonks burst out. Her coffee sloshed onto the table as her hand shook.

"Quiet, dear," Molly said softly. They were sitting at the small kitchen table late in the evening and Tonks was gleaning advice from the happily married witch.

"How did you manage to figure out love?" Tonks asked, vanishing the spilled coffee with her wand.

"You-Know-Who," Molly said simply. "Arthur had been skirting around me for a while, then his anger with You-Know-Who turned into wanting to protect me…and sometimes women can mistake a man's passion for being frustrated."

"Well, the same war is going on now," Tonks said, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling. "Fancy kicking him into gear for me? And make sure you kick him my way and not hers."

"I think you two are taking it in turns to like each other," Molly said, taking a sip of tea. "He doesn't want to risk much so he pulls back when he thinks you're angry with him. Then you pull back because you think he's angry with you and he's really madly in love…"

"Right now, I hate his guts."

Molly raised her eyebrows, smiling slightly. "But you're jealous of Emmeline?"

Tonks hung her head. Darn! Molly had trapped her. "All right, maybe…suppose I like him a lot, but I'm angry with him for not telling me he's a werewolf. And suppose, despite my past prejudices, I still like him but then another woman shows up. One who's blonde—" Tonks tugged at her naturally short, drab brown hair, "—and beautiful, and she's a werewolf and she's thirty instead of twenty-_ahem._ All around perfect for him."

Molly sipped her tea thoughtfully then set the mug down with a thump. "But suppose," she said, slightly louder, "that he's liked you from the moment he met you and that hasn't changed just because he's friends with another woman. And suppose he likes short, feisty, beautiful women who are just slightly younger than he is."

Tonks snorted. "Molly, he's ten years older than I am, and that's with my liberal adding and subtracting skills."

"But can you suppose…?"

"I suppose," Tonks said with a grin.

Molly suddenly reached across the table and took Tonks' mug from her hands. "Go talk with him."

"Right now?" Tonks gasped. "It's nearly ten. He went to bed ages ago."

"No, he went to Hogwarts to speak with Dumbledore," Molly said. "He should be back soon, or you can try to catch him in Hogsmeade before he Apparates."

Tonks stared at Molly as though she'd gone mad, but Molly looked perfectly normal. "Are you sure?" Tonks said. She'd always been the one to act impulsively while others told her no. It worried her to see the roles swapped.

"Right now," Molly repeated.

Tonks stood on the outskirts of Hogsmeade for at least ten minutes. Her heart jumped in her throat as she imagined Remus' eyes fixed only on her as he walked towards her.

"What are you doing, lass?" Mad Eye called out, and she stepped out of the shadows.

"Looking for Remus," she said in what she hoped was a calm, professional voice.

His scarred lips turned up slightly. "He went up the hill a while ago."

"To the Shrieking Shack?"

Mad Eye nodded. "Is there anything I can help you with, Tonks?"

"I just need to talk to Remus."

A look of understanding crossed Mad Eye's scarred face. Tonks trudged up the hill with Mad Eye's "be on the alert!" still ringing in her ears. A light shone from inside the shack. Tonks tapped lightly on the door.

A scuffling came from inside, then the door creaked open and a wand tip pointed out at her. "Who is it?"

"I'm Nymphadora Tonks, a metamorphagus, and my Patronus is a squirrel and I desperately need to talk to Remus John Lupin, a werewolf whose Patronus is an eagle, which I think is really weird and random..."

"Is everything all right, Tonks?" he asked, sounding wary. He pulled her inside and shut the door, locking it behind her.

Tonks stood rooted to the spot. She was glad the room was so dark so he couldn't see her blushing. Molly hadn't told her what to do once she found him.

"Did you come for anything specific?" Remus said. He lit another lamp, bathing the room in a soft glow.

Her face bright red, Tonks found her legs could move again. Remus breathed sleepily and rubbed his face as he leaned against the scratched wall.

"Can we sit down?"

Remus looked around the empty shack, then said, "Upstairs."

They climbed the stairs. Remus lay on the bed, propped up on his elbow. The sheets rustled as Tonks sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed, shoes planted firmly on the carpet. He looked up at her expectantly.

"What did you have on your mind?" Remus asked, as though this happened to him often.

It was slightly awkward for him to address her back, Tonks realized, so she slipped off her shoes and scooted onto the bed, crossing her legs beneath her. "I…wanted to know about Emmeline."

Remus raised his eyebrows. He looked happy…no, a different emotion…was it hopeful? "What would you like to know?"

"Why was her husband killed and she was only bitten?"

"He sacrificed himself," Remus replied. "The werewolf bit her first, but her husband jumped in front of her and saved her and gave her time to run away. Most people don't survive a bite from a werewolf. Normally they'll tear your flesh off."

Tonks shuddered. "Why is she so happy about being a werewolf?"

Remus shrugged, looking baffled. "I don't think she's happy as much as she makes a bad situation better. Of anyone to get bitten, she's the best."

"You think it's a good thing that she got bitten?" Tonks said, her voice shaking.

"No," Remus said, touching her hand gently. "But I wish my attitude was more like hers." He smiled. "I remember when there used to be institutions for werewolves. They actually were punished for a condition they couldn't control."

"But don't you think it's dangerous?" Tonks said, her hand still tingling where Remus had touched it. "You said you'd never hurt anyone in the Order, but what if you accidentally did? You said yourself that most people don't survive getting their flesh ripped off."

"First of all," Remus said with a frown. "Charlie knows special spells that could knock me out for three days and Snape brews Wolfsbane. Besides that, I have never killed anyone. Biting is natural, but something in your brain has to switch off before you kill an innocent person."

"What about biting?" Tonks said, shifting closer to him. She could feel the warmth from his legs through the sheet. "Doesn't something have to switch off in your brain to bite someone?"

"Not necessarily," Remus said. "Brooks Vance bites. It's a basic instinct to protect yourself or establish your hierarchy." He grinned at her confusion. "I'm talking animals here, stay with me, Tonks."

Tonks nodded. "Okay…"

"The only difference is that werewolves are animals whose basic instinct is to bite anyone and everyone. It's like a craving that won't go away and it's uncontrollable when you're in your wolf mind." He stopped suddenly and rubbed her leg gently with his foot. "Am I scaring you?"

"No," Tonks said, even though she was shaking.

"My responsibility is to stay away from people, because I know I couldn't control it. To a wolf, there's no feeling like tearing flesh off and sinking your teeth into a living body or smelling and tasting blood."

Tonks gasped.

"I'm not going to just bite your arm off right now," Remus said, smiling gently. "I'm sorry, there's no delicate way to talk about werewolves."

"I know," Tonks said nervously. "The reason I came here was because I wanted to apologize to you."

Remus waved his hand. "Like I said before, five foot tall, pink-haired Auror…it's not a problem."

"You underestimate me, Mr. Lupin," Tonks teased.

"I don't think so," Remus said. His cheeks looked slightly pink.

"Can I give you a hug?" Tonks asked.

Remus reached up and Tonks leaned against him, wrapping her arms around him and feeling his heart pump against her skin.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his hair.

"Not a problem," he repeated. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. For a heart pounding moment, Tonks thought he would kiss her. His eyes flitted to her lips, then he let out a small sigh and leaned back against the pillow.

Tonks heart beat fast as she lay beside him. "Do werewolves really mate for life?"

Remus covered his face, laughing, and muttered, "Merlin!"

"Sirius said so. He said they can't control their lust for each other." Although he'd said it in much cruder terms, Tonks remembered, and he'd sounded proud as though he vicariously lived through Remus' conquests.

"Werewolves don't mate," Remus said, still laughing. "And they can control themselves just fine, thank you very much." He blushed slightly. "What's wrong with you? Get out of my bed, you perverted woman."

"It's not perverted," Tonks laughed, then shrugged. "Sirius always accused me of being too naïve."

"Not naïve, just gullible," Remus said. Tonks made a note to look up that word in the dictionary the first chance she got. He brushed his fingers against her hair. "Mating, or lack thereof, depends on the person."

"Look who's calling who perverted!" Tonks burst out. "You're running your fingers through my hair, trying to get me to fall for you, talking about mating—"

"You brought it up!" Remus threw his head back and shook with laughter. "Or rather, your perverted cousin!"

She closed her eyes and when she opened them, it startled her to see Remus' face so near to her own. And he was looking at her with an expression she'd never seen before, an expression that both scared and excited her at the same time. He ran his fingers through her hair and she widened her eyes. Lightheaded, she barely felt his hand slide behind her head. She felt her body against his without any recollection of how he'd gotten so close. He was about to kiss her…she knew it. And then he pulled away, shaking uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry," he said, breathing hard. He slid away from her, his face flushed. "Maybe I was wrong about the self-control thing."

She looked him up and down. He looked much too handsome. "No," she said. "If you were a ravenous wolf you'd be on me before I knew what was coming."

"Don't say things like that, Tonks," Remus said, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'll take it as a challenge."

"Are you saying you like me?"

Remus rolled his eyes, hugging his knees to his chest. "I'm saying you're driving me mad. Just go."

"Are you angry with me?"

Remus swallowed hard. "No," he said, turning away. Tonks remembered what Molly had said about passion and anger.

The steps creaked as Tonks made her way down them. "Bye, Remus," she called from the foot of the stairs. "I love you."

Silence. Tonks froze in unbelief that those words had come from her mouth. She threw open the door and ran down the hill. Mad Eye caught her as she tripped at the bottom.

"What happened?" he said sharply.

"I told him I loved him."

"Why did you run?" he asked, his magical eye twirling in its socket. Then it quivered. "Oh. I see. He loves you."

"He does?"

Mad Eye rolled his good eye. "He was turned on by you…" He grinned slyly. "I don't understand why you ran, though."

"Mad Eye!" Tonks gasped, slapping him. "What does that eye see?"

"I'm an Occlumens, Tonks, a skill you might want to pick up in your spare time."

"How can you read his mind?"

"I can't," Mad Eye snapped. "Goodness, Tonks, anyone with eyes, magical or not, can tell he's crazy for you. He wants you—"

"Mad Eye!" Tonks yelled before he could finish that thought. She blushed to think what the sixty-year-old wizard was thinking…and what he was seeing in her own thoughts.


End file.
